Dear Ammar,

I have just graduated from the university with a good average and now I am lucky to have two opportunities for work.  One job pays more but it is more demanding and less stable.  The other one is more stable, pays less, but on the positive side, carries with it better chances for a future public office.  Is there a way to help me arrange my thoughts in order to help me make a good decision?

Regards,

WBTE

Dear WBTE,

I am glad you are not looking for an answer on this as there is no one answer.  the only one who can make this decision is you.  There are different ways to measure pros and cons of alternatives so as to help you make the decision, but before that you have to determine what are your goals in life.  This is the basis on which you can do the analysis.  What might be a pro for someone, it can be a disadvantage to another.  No one can go by pros and cons form other people’s perspective.  That would not work. 

Here are a couple of things you can do to help you determine what your goals are.  Start first with thinking about the future. long term.  Ask yourself: what are the qualities of life that I want to lead, say in ten years? One easy way to do it is to close your eyes and imagine the ideal life then.  Put yourself there and start describing the world you see around you.  Describe it from a professional, social, family, friends, atmosphere, and all other aspects of life.  Do not dismiss this technique as childish or silly.  Many professionals use it to help them set and achieve goals.  Many sports coaches use these techniques with their professional teams to help them imagine what winning the world cup, for example, would look like in order to make it a more achievable target.  Also, project teams on important projects are asked to imagine what the final result of their efforts should look like, to help them mutually agree and focus on their goal. So, give this time and let your imagination go into defining even the small details of what your life should look like then.

The other technique you can use is to ask yourself about what is important to you.  Do not be too general, like “I want to be happy.” All, or let us say 99% of people, want to be happy.  You need to ask “what makes me happy and content in life?”  Is it contributing to the community, helping others, money, power, position, social life, raising good kids? Put them down, then prioritize them.  This technique is also very useful in helping you determine what are your priorities.  Again, here, think long term, and do not focus on what can make you happy now, versus what can make you happy throughout your life. 

Another thing I would like you to do is to ask yourself what are my strengths on which I can rely to achieve my goals?  Are you a hard worker, ambitious, creative, smart, organized, sociable?  Please do not go around asking people this questions, especially your mother.  In addition to the fact that she might take ages counting your strengths, as she sees them, the only one who can give you an accurate answer to this question is the person who spends 100% of his time with you, and that is YOU.  So, do this on your own, and be honest with yourself.  Write these down, but not as if you are applying for a job.  Do not exaggerate; these are listed for only you to see.  After you are done listing your strengths, now determine and write down the “opportunities” that you have.  Opportunities are external elements that are working in your favor.  These include existing work offers, market conditions, references, contacts, supporters, and friends that can support your career decisions and professional life.  This is important, as usually it is a blend of opportunities and strengths that help people achieve excellence.

Now, based on your strengths, opportunities, and long term goals.  Determine what are the alternate routes that can get you to where you want to be in ten years.  If you have multiple alternate routes to take, determine which one will get you to your goal.  If more than one can, then put down the pros and cons of each, again based on your specific strengths, opportunities, and goals.  Take into consideration the risks, their probabilities, and their impacts on your plans.  Do not take on more risks than what you need to achieve your goals.

Share your thoughts with close friends and family, and listen to their advice, especially people with experience in achieving goals that you are looking to achieve.  Seek them out and ask them about what they did to get to where they got, and what they advise you to do.  People in general, and especially in Jordan, love to give advice, ehhem, so don’t  be shy to ask.  However, please be careful to spot people with a negative attitude to life or towards you.  These will only put you down and make you feel that your goals can never be achieved and that hey are merely wishful thinking.  These are the killers of ambition and they should be avoided, especially when taking on an important decision.

Finally, once you have done your homework, do not try to over analyze the information you got.  The greatest thinking engine in the world is the human mind, and it has its own ways of working and figuring out the decision making process in ways that experts have not figured out yet.  This is called the gut feeling.  This is why I advise you to review the info and finally make your decision yourself, based on what you feel is right.   

While this is an important decision, do not stress yourself over it.  Please remember two things.  First is to count your blessings as you have options and alternatives.  Even though this might cause one to be hesitant on which to choose, on the brighter side having options is a blessing.  I am sure you would have it this way than having no options or poor options.  The second is that leaders do well wherever they go.  If a leader makes a wrong choice, she will know how to correct it, or use it to her advantage.