Dear Ammar,

My boss keeps promising me bonuses and rewards that never materialize.  He always makes excuses that he got turned down by management, or that it is not the right time.  I have just received an offer for double what I am making right now.  I went and talked to him about getting a better package and he was positive and promised me that he will correct things within a few weeks.  I feel silly saying this but I find myself obliged to give him the benefit of the doubt.  He felt that I have another offer and he was pleading that I do not leave him in the middle of the project that I am currently managing.  He said that he needs my support and expertise and that I am the only one he can depend on to carry through the project.  The other company is in a hurry and cannot wait anymore for an answer.  I am afraid that I turn down this offer and then he again does not come through on his promises and nothing changes.  Even though this time, I really felt that he was sincere and he will deliver on his promise.   

Regards,

Karim

Dear Karim,

It is time to cut your losses and move on to something bigger and better.  It is important to learn from the past.  His previous promises have never materialized so what will make things change in the future?  Based on his track record, most probably, his promises will never materialize.  The extra detail about how management is stalling and how he is unable to deliver on his promise to you is noise.  The bottom line is that he has not kept his promises so far.  Sounds to me that you have a very talented manipulator for a boss.   He is getting you confused by sharing with you more information than you need to know.  If he has problems with his management to get you the raise, promotion, or reward that you deserve, then that is his problem, not yours.  He is trying to pin his problems on to you and, I am sorry to say, you are letting him get away too easy.  You owe it to yourself to seek work that builds your career path and gets you fair compensation. 

Now, as you are considering this new position that you mentioned, make sure you research it well.  You do not want to fall into the same situation you are in now, or even move into something worse.  Focus on what the new job offers, and make sure that it fits your needs and wants.  Do not build your decision on potential only.  Make sure that what you will get today and now is satisfactory for you.  Otherwise, you will fall into the same trap of promises about a brighter future that never materialize.  For example, be wary of managers who give you offers that do not measure up to your needs at the present time, but draw you a rosy picture about how the future will be if things “work out” for the company or if you do well.  Base your career move on facts, not promises. 

Also, make sure you ask around about the new job, the company, and your new boss.  Check with people who work there, or have worked there.  Also check with people who know your future boss.  Listen to their comments very carefully.  Remember, some people are not willing to badmouth anybody, so if you are too excited about getting the new job, you might ignore or miss the subtle warning lines and signs people will throw you.

Once you find a new suitable position and turn in your resignation, there is a good chance that your current manager will make a last ditch effort to lure you into staying.  He might come back with a whole bunch of new promises that sound lucrative, just to stall your move even more.  But the important thing is for you to hold your grounds and not let him continue manipulating you.   Just tell him that the decision is final.

As you leave, do not try to get even with him by coming across like you are teaching him a lesson.  Do not act bitter about what he has done in the past.  That should be behind you and keep your relationship with him as healthy as you can without sacrificing your new opportunity or succumbing to his pleas for you to stay. 

Remember that there is a fair market value for your services.  If you do not get that from your company, you need to look somewhere else to get it.

However, there is also the paradigm of people feeling always that “the grass is greener on the other side.”  Many people move to new positions, lured by more money, to find out that the money is a premium for putting up with a lousy work environment or job.  Be careful to study the new opportunity from different perspectives before you decide to give up your old job.  Some things are intangible and not everything is money.  Also remember, the more you make, the higher the expectations are for your performance. 

Good luck

Ammar