Dear Ammar,

One of my star performers is disrespectful to other team members.  We hired Sami two months ago; he had a resume packed with relevant experience to our organization, much of it global.  Sami turned out to be everything his resume said he is.  He was very presentable and was even able to seal a couple of deals for the organization in a short span of time.  However, I started hearing murmurs in the ranks about Sami.  He has shown disrespect to a couple of the team members on a few occasions.  I let these incidents go as I was not really sure who was at fault and no one came to me directly to complain.  Lately, one of my junior team members came in and complained that Sami shouted at him in front of other colleagues in a meeting and used very vulgar language and name calling.  At my company, everybody knows that we insist on respect.  Only last year we fired a team member for almost exactly the same behavior.  But we are talking about my star performer here.  When I confronted him with the facts, he said that the team member deserved it and he did not consider calling someone a “jackass” as wrong, especially if the guy deserved it.  So, he refused to apologize. To be fair to Sami, the person he insulted is a low key struggling performer in the company.  So, I can see how his incompetence can get to someone who is as passionate as Sami.  The bottom line is that I cannot fire Sami; there are two new contracts that depend on his presence in the company.  He is a rare find, and hardly anyone in Jordan has his abilities.  Team members seem to understand that, and know that Sami is too precious to lose, so they try to avoid his wrath as much as possible.  Is it OK if I let it go this time with an informal warning? Please advise.

Regards,

Anonymous Manager.

Dear Anonymous Manager,

You are in a tough situation for sure.  But I think your manager sixth sense and gutt feeling are already telling you that Sami, with current attitude, is not a “keeper” at your organization.  Having the wrong attitude will back fire on the long term and hurt your company more than the short term benefits you are expecting from Sami.  We need to talk about the long term strategy, the short term strategy, and the tactics here, since all our necessary in this situation.  Long term, top managers worldwide insist that honesty, integrity, and respectful behavior are essential ingredients in every team member.  Most managers agree that their should be zero tolerance in these areas, and serious deviations from acceptable behavior in these sensitive areas warrant immediate action from Manager towards re-alignment of team member and correcting the deviations.  Sometimes, depending on the severity of the case, it can easily warrant dismissal.  So, long term, I think you know what to do; be unwavering about these principles and values.  Short term, communicate these values and principles clearly and firmly to Sami.  Explain how much you would hate to lose him as a star performer, and for now you will let it go with a FORMAL warning and an apology to the team member AND to all who were there during the incident.  If that works, good.  If not, then Sami might not belong in your organization on the long term.  Finally, tactics: we do not want to lose the precious contracts, so before you have your conversation with Sami, put down all the possible outcomes and try to exploit them in your favor.  Build contingency plans to deal with different possible reactions from Sami.  You are in the best place to assess those tactics.  Among them might be swiftly replacing Sami on these contracts by introducing another star performer from the company on the account.  Also, you can explore possibilities of subcontracting Sami to support the contracts with a decent profit sharing scheme, but as an external consultant.  I am sure you will find more.  A manager should hold values and principles close to heart.  Without them, a manager can easily astray and lose on the long term.  I hope the above helps.  One last thing: you said you let previous incidents go as you were not sure who was at fault.  According to Patrick M. Lencioni, a renowned management and leadership expert, this is called “choosing certainty over clarity” which is a not a good management practice.  One better proactively and swiftly deal with such situations even if not sure who was at fault.  Clearly communicate how you feel about the incidents and do not wait until you are certain that you are right.  Usually by then, it would be too late anyways.

Regards,

Ammar