While originally published in 1937, the book continues to be many best sellers’ lists. In fact, it is one of the greatest best sellers of all times. It was written by one of the fore fathers of the self help revolution; Dale Carnegie.

The book has over twenty five pieces of advice, all tried and proven by Carnegie and famous leaders of modern times. The nice thing about the book is that its advice is written in a friendly persuasive manner, steering away from preaching, academia, and theory.

The book consists of four parts, discussing key elements of the Carnegie philosophy. The four parts cover: fundamental techniques in handling people, six ways to make people like you, winning people to your way of thinking, and a section on being a leader.

The first part gives specific and practical advice on handling people. This includes avoiding “the 3 C’s: Criticize, Condemn, Complain.” All three must be avoided at all times, regardless of the circumstances. Giving honest and sincere appreciation is another amazingly simple piece of advice. Care should be taken not to come across as fake or untruthful. The key is for appreciation is to be honest. It is dishonest to compliment someone on preciseness when the person is notorious for being late. The feelings accompanying the appreciation must also be sincere. The person giving the appreciation must feel and mean the appreciation. To say “I am happy for you” when one is not, then that would be insincere. For one to be honest and sincere in appreciating others, Carnegie suggests building genuine interest in other people.

 In part two, Carnegie discusses six ways one can use to make self likeable. These are to become genuinely interested in people, smile, remember people’s names and use them, listen empathetically to others, talk in terms of others’ interests, and make the other person feel important. The advice is valid in making a person become real and true in her demeanor. The interesting aspect in this advice that Carnegie suggests applying it indiscriminately, regardless of the other person’s importance, age, or education.

Winning people to your way of thinking is covered in the third section. In it, there is a tried “recipe” that includes avoiding arguments, showing respect to others’ opinions, and admitting own mistakes. Carnegie suggests showing utmost respect for other’s opinion. He even believes that one should never say: “you are wrong” to anyone even if they were wrong. On the other hand, he advises that one should quickly and clearly admit own mistakes and apologize for them. As far as convincing others, the book recommends starting in a positive and friendly way, in order to get the other person to say yes. Ironically, to persuade someone, it is important to let them do most of the talking. While listening, try honestly to understand the other’s point of view and be sympathetic with expressed ideas and desires. Finally Carnegie advises readers to appeal to the nobler side of people and give them a challenge. Carnegie sees no shame in dramatizing ideas in order to make them more appealing to others. He suggests arousing in the other person an eager want; to make them want to do something, rather than forcing them to do it.

In the last part of the book, Carnegie gives a few pointers on being a leader. When trying to help people improve performance or fix undesirable behavior, always start with praise and honest appreciation. It is a good practice to call attention to people's mistakes indirectly and to talk about own mistakes before mentioning the other person’s mistakes. Instead of giving direct orders, the book shows how asking questions can be a better way to get people to do what is right. Carnegie is against putting people in a corner. On the contrary, he recommends helping the other person save face. When fixing deviation in performance, it is important that a manager, for example, carefully observes the team member’s behavior. At the sign of the slightest improvement, the manager should give praise regardless of how slight the improvement. There is more to Carnegie’s advice in this regard. He suggests giving people a fine reputation to live up to. He is also for using encouragement and making faults seem to be easily corrected. Finally he suggests making the other person happy about following your suggestions.

 Throughout the years, since the book was written, those who tried the advice testify to its effectiveness in winning friends and influencing people. There are also skeptics who choose to differ with the proponents’ claims. Some accuse the Carnegie philosophy of applying Machiavellian ways to the business and personal lives. They feel the advice carries with it a great deal of manipulation and playing with people’s emotions. Carnegie enthusiasts strongly disagree. They say that it is out of respect to human intelligence and individualism that Carnegie demands extra attention to dealing with people. His teachings are about win-win scenarios; getting what you want by giving others what they want.